"All in All" - Lifehouse
Monday, March 21, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Something Different
I did something out of character the other night.
I went to a bar in Btown to watch UConn's first round NCAA tourney game. That wasn't the out of character thing. Although, I did go alone. I was lonely and bored and didn't want to sit in my apartment.
I suppose that is out of character.
But it is not the thing I was refering to.
No, while I was at the bar I actually struck up conversation with a couple of girls sitting near me.
If this were an earthquake, it would rate a 12 on the Richter scale. I've never done this before.
But anyway, when these girls ask my name I say, "I'm Matt."
You'll notice this is not my name.
I wanted to try something new and wanted to be someone else for a while. I even told them I was a Spanish major when the topic came up; even dropped a few spanish phrases. They ate that shit up.
It was bizarre.
Sort of an out of body experience. I was still my usual funny self, but at the same time I wasn't me. I wasn't worried about failing or looking stupid.
Then the icing on the cake was when they were getting up to go to another bar. I just went for broke and asked the one that seemed interested in me, Maggie, for her number.
I got that shit..... well, Matt, the Spanish major, got that shit.
Of course I had to toss the number and feel like a complete douche for lying to this girl, but the confidence I have gained from it is priceless.
"Coming Up" - Lupe Fiasco
I went to a bar in Btown to watch UConn's first round NCAA tourney game. That wasn't the out of character thing. Although, I did go alone. I was lonely and bored and didn't want to sit in my apartment.
I suppose that is out of character.
But it is not the thing I was refering to.
No, while I was at the bar I actually struck up conversation with a couple of girls sitting near me.
If this were an earthquake, it would rate a 12 on the Richter scale. I've never done this before.
But anyway, when these girls ask my name I say, "I'm Matt."
You'll notice this is not my name.
I wanted to try something new and wanted to be someone else for a while. I even told them I was a Spanish major when the topic came up; even dropped a few spanish phrases. They ate that shit up.
It was bizarre.
Sort of an out of body experience. I was still my usual funny self, but at the same time I wasn't me. I wasn't worried about failing or looking stupid.
Then the icing on the cake was when they were getting up to go to another bar. I just went for broke and asked the one that seemed interested in me, Maggie, for her number.
I got that shit..... well, Matt, the Spanish major, got that shit.
Of course I had to toss the number and feel like a complete douche for lying to this girl, but the confidence I have gained from it is priceless.
"Coming Up" - Lupe Fiasco
Sunday, March 13, 2011
The Pause Button
It feels like someone has hit the pause button on my life.
I had really been enjoying my life the past couple of weeks. I was having fun and looking forward to what the next several months of my life would hold. It was as if my life was a jigsaw puzzle and I had just put together a lovely chunk of it.
Now I'm on Spring Break at my mom's place.
I do not want to be here. The only thing that I enjoy about being here is that I get to spend time with my pooch.
It's like someone took that part of the jigsaw puzzle and now I'm supposed to complete the rest of it without it for the time being.
I feel disconnected from my life. My life isn't here.
The people I enjoy doing stuff with aren't here.
I love helping my mom, but she dumps everything on me since she has no one to talk to. And I feel constantly worse because of this.
Now where's that damn remote so I can hit that play button.
"Uncharted" - Sara Bareilles
(I found this quote yesterday. I kind of love it.)
"My heart only ever had one thought, one want. One need. Despite all, in spite of all...All my heart has ever wanted is you." - Stephanie Laurens
I had really been enjoying my life the past couple of weeks. I was having fun and looking forward to what the next several months of my life would hold. It was as if my life was a jigsaw puzzle and I had just put together a lovely chunk of it.
Now I'm on Spring Break at my mom's place.
I do not want to be here. The only thing that I enjoy about being here is that I get to spend time with my pooch.
It's like someone took that part of the jigsaw puzzle and now I'm supposed to complete the rest of it without it for the time being.
I feel disconnected from my life. My life isn't here.
The people I enjoy doing stuff with aren't here.
I love helping my mom, but she dumps everything on me since she has no one to talk to. And I feel constantly worse because of this.
Now where's that damn remote so I can hit that play button.
"Uncharted" - Sara Bareilles
(I found this quote yesterday. I kind of love it.)
"My heart only ever had one thought, one want. One need. Despite all, in spite of all...All my heart has ever wanted is you." - Stephanie Laurens
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Off the Beaten Path: Part Two
If you chose to investigate the house:
You are hopeful the house holds some supplies and, if nothing else, it should at least be a nice place to spend the night.
"Hopefully it's empty," you say aloud as you make your way down the moonlight-blotched driveway. Another breeze makes its way through the trees, scattering some fallen leaves in your path. They crunch under your feet.
You see no lights on inside the house, but the porch light tells you there is electricity. You glance around and notice a path on the fringe of the porch's light. It appears to lead to the back side of the house.
You explore the path around the house. It is made of circular cobblestone discs. When you're out of range of the porch light you pull your flashlight out. The backyard of the house is enclosed by a wooden fence. A giant oak tree stands alone in the corner of the yard.
Your flash light follows the path to its end. Surrounded by darkness is a cellar door.
Do you return to the porch and go in the front door or investigate the cellar?
If you chose to stay on the road:
You think it's best to keep moving and carrying more supplies would just weigh you down. You've been moving at a good pace for some time now and have yet to grow tired.
"The inviting home with the porch light is probably a trap anyway. Besides, when has anything good ever been kept at the end of a long driveway?"
You continue on down the road; into the dark, away from the (porch) light. Gravel is strewn on both sides of the road. It crunches with each step you take. The road ahead is poorly lit, but you can see trees crowding it on both sides. You pull out your flashlight and scan the trees.
Nothing.
Another fifty feet and your flashlight rolls over the back of a car. You approach it slowly and shine your flashlight inside. The car is empty; just like nearly every other car you've found.
The silence of the night is broken by footsteps in the trees behind you. You shut off your light instinctively.
Do you run further down the road or hide behind the car?
You are hopeful the house holds some supplies and, if nothing else, it should at least be a nice place to spend the night.
"Hopefully it's empty," you say aloud as you make your way down the moonlight-blotched driveway. Another breeze makes its way through the trees, scattering some fallen leaves in your path. They crunch under your feet.
You see no lights on inside the house, but the porch light tells you there is electricity. You glance around and notice a path on the fringe of the porch's light. It appears to lead to the back side of the house.
You explore the path around the house. It is made of circular cobblestone discs. When you're out of range of the porch light you pull your flashlight out. The backyard of the house is enclosed by a wooden fence. A giant oak tree stands alone in the corner of the yard.
Your flash light follows the path to its end. Surrounded by darkness is a cellar door.
Do you return to the porch and go in the front door or investigate the cellar?
If you chose to stay on the road:
You think it's best to keep moving and carrying more supplies would just weigh you down. You've been moving at a good pace for some time now and have yet to grow tired.
"The inviting home with the porch light is probably a trap anyway. Besides, when has anything good ever been kept at the end of a long driveway?"
You continue on down the road; into the dark, away from the (porch) light. Gravel is strewn on both sides of the road. It crunches with each step you take. The road ahead is poorly lit, but you can see trees crowding it on both sides. You pull out your flashlight and scan the trees.
Nothing.
Another fifty feet and your flashlight rolls over the back of a car. You approach it slowly and shine your flashlight inside. The car is empty; just like nearly every other car you've found.
The silence of the night is broken by footsteps in the trees behind you. You shut off your light instinctively.
Do you run further down the road or hide behind the car?
Friday, March 4, 2011
Off the Beaten Path: Part One
Off the Beaten Path
You are standing at the start of a long driveway. Oak and pine trees grow sporadically on each side of it. The asphalt is morphed in some spots; tree roots making their way beneath it.
You look up at the clear, midnight sky and see moonlight and stars between the tree limbs and leaves. At the end of the driveway, illuminated by a porch light, you see a garage and steps leading to a house.
A crisp fall breeze rustles the leaves and your body urges you to zip up your jacket. You grant its wish and adjust your backpack as well.
Do you investigate the house or continue on down the road you're on?
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Dreams
I love them.
Fun dreams. Scary dreams. Awkward dreams. Serious dreams. Recurring dreams. Wishful dreams. Hopeful dreams. Dreams that are really memories. What if? dreams. Daydreams...
...wet dreams. Hahaha. I'm an awkward. ("I'm an awkward" is an inside joke.)
I love waking up from a crazy dream and trying to remember what happened. If I can, then I try to piece together the dream. I've noticed that almost always my dreams are a melting pot of what I had experienced during the day.
It's interesting to go, "oh, that part of the dream is because of this and this part is because of that."
The worst dreams are the ones where it's a memory and what happens is what you would've liked to have happened in reality.
I have one where I don't lose my final high school soccer game. The worst part of that day was being taken out with 7 minutes to go for some underclassmen. I played my ass off and my piece of shit coach took me and a couple other seniors out, while leaving two others in (his favorites). I'll never forget that. Sometimes we don't tie the game up and win, but I always get to finish the game.
When I was a kid I used to have a dream where a T-rex was wreaking havoc in my neighborhood. Then velocipraptors would show up.
That was always a fun one. I haven't had it in a while though.
I think the earliest dream I can remember having is one where I get to the top of this impossibly tall wooden bridge. High above crashing waves and rocky shoreline. Then I'd fall. I don't think I ever hit the bottom. Maybe I did, but I haven't had that dream for some time either.
What if? dreams are the best, however.
What if I'd kissed the girl? What if we hadn't moved? What if I hadn't broken my leg? The soccer dream/memory is one of these. They are usually heart-breaking because nothing is worse than wondering, "what if?". Why are they the best then? Because you get to live in moments you'll never experience otherwise. A sad thought, but it is most definitely true.
I love dreams.
Daydreaming in class is what made me realize I should be a writer. (And it is funny, many of the stories I write have some aspect of them (large or small) that relate to dreams)
What if I wasn't a daydreamer?
"You Know What" - N.E.R.D.
Fun dreams. Scary dreams. Awkward dreams. Serious dreams. Recurring dreams. Wishful dreams. Hopeful dreams. Dreams that are really memories. What if? dreams. Daydreams...
...wet dreams. Hahaha. I'm an awkward. ("I'm an awkward" is an inside joke.)
I love waking up from a crazy dream and trying to remember what happened. If I can, then I try to piece together the dream. I've noticed that almost always my dreams are a melting pot of what I had experienced during the day.
It's interesting to go, "oh, that part of the dream is because of this and this part is because of that."
The worst dreams are the ones where it's a memory and what happens is what you would've liked to have happened in reality.
I have one where I don't lose my final high school soccer game. The worst part of that day was being taken out with 7 minutes to go for some underclassmen. I played my ass off and my piece of shit coach took me and a couple other seniors out, while leaving two others in (his favorites). I'll never forget that. Sometimes we don't tie the game up and win, but I always get to finish the game.
When I was a kid I used to have a dream where a T-rex was wreaking havoc in my neighborhood. Then velocipraptors would show up.
That was always a fun one. I haven't had it in a while though.
I think the earliest dream I can remember having is one where I get to the top of this impossibly tall wooden bridge. High above crashing waves and rocky shoreline. Then I'd fall. I don't think I ever hit the bottom. Maybe I did, but I haven't had that dream for some time either.
What if? dreams are the best, however.
What if I'd kissed the girl? What if we hadn't moved? What if I hadn't broken my leg? The soccer dream/memory is one of these. They are usually heart-breaking because nothing is worse than wondering, "what if?". Why are they the best then? Because you get to live in moments you'll never experience otherwise. A sad thought, but it is most definitely true.
I love dreams.
Daydreaming in class is what made me realize I should be a writer. (And it is funny, many of the stories I write have some aspect of them (large or small) that relate to dreams)
What if I wasn't a daydreamer?
"You Know What" - N.E.R.D.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Why I Hate February
#1 - The Weather:
It can never seem to make up its mind.
Like today, it was a torrential downpour outside and became progressively colder all day. It's twice as worse because, in Indiana, the weather already can't make up its mind.
#2 - Valentine's Day:
This holiday is crap.
When you care about, or love, someone you shouldn't need one random ass day in February to be the day to show it. Do it all the time. And it's not like you can avoid this made up holiday. It's always in your face.
#3 - It's the 2nd month of the year:
The luster of the new year has worn off.
And, chances are, there's someone in your neighborhood, maybe even in your home, that has yet to remove all their Christmas decorations. It's sad. Sad that the Holidays are gone and sad they're so lazy.
#4 - No more NFL:
I nearly forgot this one.
And how could I? This is may be #1 for others, but other sports can usually fill the void left by football for me. It's made worse by the fact that MLB starts to gear up around this time.
I hate, absolutely hate, baseball.
February is so crummy it can't even make up its mind on how many days it should have.
There are only two good things about this month.
My friend Andrea's birthday (the 5th)...
...and conversation hearts (they are delicious, especially the ones en espanol).
So, to summarize. February sucks.
"Unwell" - Matchbox Twenty
It can never seem to make up its mind.
Like today, it was a torrential downpour outside and became progressively colder all day. It's twice as worse because, in Indiana, the weather already can't make up its mind.
#2 - Valentine's Day:
This holiday is crap.
When you care about, or love, someone you shouldn't need one random ass day in February to be the day to show it. Do it all the time. And it's not like you can avoid this made up holiday. It's always in your face.
#3 - It's the 2nd month of the year:
The luster of the new year has worn off.
And, chances are, there's someone in your neighborhood, maybe even in your home, that has yet to remove all their Christmas decorations. It's sad. Sad that the Holidays are gone and sad they're so lazy.
#4 - No more NFL:
I nearly forgot this one.
And how could I? This is may be #1 for others, but other sports can usually fill the void left by football for me. It's made worse by the fact that MLB starts to gear up around this time.
I hate, absolutely hate, baseball.
February is so crummy it can't even make up its mind on how many days it should have.
There are only two good things about this month.
My friend Andrea's birthday (the 5th)...
...and conversation hearts (they are delicious, especially the ones en espanol).
So, to summarize. February sucks.
"Unwell" - Matchbox Twenty
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)