I Can't Think of Anything Clever to Title This Blog

It's been nearly a month since I wrote my last one. I suppose I haven't had much to write about lately. Things are much less interesting and active since I left Bloomington. I have far too much time on my hands.

 I need an idea...

... and a job.

Edit:

I know what I can do with my next blog. I can talk about my fantasy football teams and why I drafted the players I did. Yeah, that might work.

- In Other News -

I went to see Contagion today. Damn good movie.

Eerie, suspenseful, and, most importantly, smart. If you go see it, which I strongly suggest you do, make note of how many times people cough during the movie. I can bet that barely anyone will. I heard only one cough throughout the entire film... and people cough all the time during movies! Whether to clear their throat or if they're sick (I'd suggest not seeing this movie while sick. I'm sure you'd get dirty looks).

Maybe I'm weird for noticing this, but I think it's interesting and kind of funny.

Edit:

I watched the 1st season of the HBO series How to Make it in America the other day. I had a good time watching it. I'll liken it to Entourage in that it plays up the late-twenties, party lifestyle, but from the perspective of people far less better off.

And Kid Cudi is in the cast, which is pretty cool.

"Tighten Up" - The Black Keys

Hrrrmmm...

Every once in a while I find myself wondering how it is I became such good friends with the people I'm close to.  I'll look over the course of the friendship and think about how it is I came to be close to them.  Obviously I'm weird for doing this, but I'm the kind of person that likes to figure things out.

I know.  I have problems.

All I'm really getting at is this, it is funny how things work out and how you get close to others and lose touch with people you were close to.  I just think it's bizarre how it is you end up with the people you end up with (you might want to read that sentence again.  It confused me when I wrote it).

- In other news -

I started playing soccer again this week.  I decided I needed to change up my workouts and playing soccer pretty much works all these muscles you never even realize are there.  I still have the wicked bend on my shots (believe it or not I used to be a pretty damn good soccer player).

I came across this website, called Klout.com, which you link to your Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare, and LinkedIn accounts.  It gives you a numerical score from 1 to 100 (how much clout you have.  Clout, get it?) and even determines what style of user you are based on how you use your accounts.  I think it's pretty interesting; almost makes it into a game where you can compete with your friends to see who has more "klout."

"Fort Knox" - Goldfish

Vagabond

I do not have a home in the traditional sense of the word.

My mom and little bro both have lives they are living.  I assume they like it when I am home.  I know my mom does, but, realistically speaking, I am just a person that shows up for a couple of days, every few weeks.  I'll bitch about how they have nothing to eat or drink, watch whatever shows my mom wants to watch on her DVR, do laundry (fold my mom's, if she has any), vacuum, go visit my grandma, and sleep on the couch.

I'm basically a vagabond.

A spectre that drifts into their lives intermittently.  An image that's occasionally in focus.

I could go on with the metaphors all day.

As I think about it, the only reason I truly 'want' to come home is to see my dog.  I adore the ever-loving shit out of that animal.  He just turned twelve and that's on the good side of the bell curve for Labrador life-expectancy.  He's getting really gray now; in the pads of his feet, on his belly a little, and even his eyebrows.  More often than not, however, he still has that quizzical, puppy look on his face and that makes me happy.

In fact, no one is home right now and he is laying next to me on the couch, on his back, feet up in the air.

- In other news -

I really hope I am able to line up a job (read: career) soon.  I found a couple of jobs I'm perfectly qualified for.  So after a little more work on my portfolio, I'll apply to them.  I would rather not be in Bloomington past this summer, but I can think of nowhere better to be should things not work out exactly as I intend.

I think they will though.

Remember: I'm an optimist now.  Muaaahahahaha.

Also, June was a fairly good month in the blogging department. Nine blogs in total.  That's around a blog every three days.  I'm putting that kind of consistency in the win column... or at least the non-failure column.

"Vagabond" - Greenskeepers

In Need of a Memory Wipe

Earlier I caught sight of, very briefly, a text from my mom to some guy.  I wasn't snooping through her phone or creeping over her shoulder or anything.  She was showing me how predictive text on her phone annoys her.  Lets just say I'd rather not have seen the contents of this text.

I love my mom.  She's had a tough few years.  She hasn't had anyone to talk to for a long time now, so she deserves someone.  I'd just rather not know about it...

...at all.

Ughhh.  It's so unsettling.

And there's something weird, to me, about people above the age of 30 sending rather intimate texts.

Seems like an activity meant for young people.  Of course, anyone I've mentioned this to has said it's not weird at all.  Maybe I'm the weird one.

Probably, but that's cool.

- In other news -

I got around to playing Mass Effect 2 again (on the PS3 this time).  It is by far my favorite game of this console generation.  I think the greatest thing about the game is it's characters.  The story of Mass Effect 2 is relatively simple; if the characters weren't written in a way that made deep and compelling it wouldn't be the same game.

I'll be 24 in a week.  Doesn't feel like it though.

"Song 2" - Blur

Scratch That

Holy crap was that last blog of mine atrocious.  The epitome of awful.  Just thinking about it makes me want to punch myself in the nards.  You'll notice it is no longer there.  That shit had to go.

- In other news -

Some plans of mine fell through on Sunday so I decided to surprise my mom by driving home.  She isn't doing great.  Completely overwhelmed with all the things she needs to do to take care of my grandma.  It's enormously depressing.

I did finally get around to watching Game of Thrones while I was there though.  That show is pretty damn awesome.  I watched the first 8 episodes from like 10pm Sunday night to 6am the next morning.  I'd finish one and say, "ok, just one more."

I couldn't help it.  I was hooked.  It makes me wish I had HBO still so I could see the final two episodes before I am home next.  And True Blood is coming back in a couple a weeks too.

I also donated plasma on Tuesday.  That was really cool.  I wanted to get a little extra money and I remembered an old roommate of mine going to donate from time to time, so I thought I'd give it a try.  It was interesting there and every employee was nice.  It was strange seeing so many happy people working together (if that's not a comment on society, I don't know what is).

Finally here's a joke they sort of tell on an episode of How I Met Your Mother.  It's really crass, but it made me laugh.

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?

You can't peanut butter your dick up someone's ass.

"Where's Your Head At" - Basement Jaxx

Things That Scare the Poop Out of Me

They include:

most spiders - spiders suck so much.  Seriously, they are one of evolution's creepiest creations.  Think about it.  Tiny creatures that have poisonous fangs and can crawl out from the smallest of spaces.

Absolutely creepy.

swimming in murky ocean water - ... well, any murky water.  Ughhh. It's mostly a shark thing.  It's just very unnerving to be swimming in water where you can't see what is around you.

I think that's it.  Nothing else comes to mind right now.  I mean, sure, clowns are creepy, but I'm not scared of them.  Sure, heights sucks, but only if all I have is a very small walking space and a steep drop on one or both sides.

- In other news -

I started working on my the story I started writing last summer.  There's something about being alone in Btown during the summer that just puts me in a 'good' writing mood.

It is two weeks 'til my birthday.  I don't really know what I'll do for it.  My mom will want me to come home, but I'd rather just hang out alone in the wilderness for a while.  She was asking me what I wanted for my birthday a few weeks ago and I said, "nothing".  She was irked by this.  The woman just sent me on a trip to Yellowstone and RMNP; that's more than enough.  She tells me I'm spoiled sometimes and then she gets weird when I don't want anything.

I started watching LOST before I went on my trip and finished season 1 the other day.  It is such a great show.

I've been running every day this week and holy crap has it been sweltering out.  The hotter the better, however.  There's nothing like a great sweat during (and after) a run.  It almost always puts me in a good place.

"Danger Zone" - Chiddy Bang

Limbo

I'm in it and it sucks.

It is a weird feeling to see what the next step in your life is, but not know exactly how it is you are going to get there. I do know how to get there, but it'll only 'truly' become apparent as it is happening.  It is remarkably moronic, I know.

And I'll be 24 in a little over two weeks.

That's right. 24.

I'm nearly halfway through my 20s. It is mind boggling to think about. Sort of like when you try to imagine how the universe began. You are only able to get so far before your brain hurts because what you cannot comprehend what comes next. Or, in the case of the universe analogy, before.

If that didn't make any sense, thinking about me being 24, when it feels like I was just freshmen in high school, hurts my brain.

It's just so strange to me.  I don't even remotely look like a 24 year old. I could probably pass for 17. This will be a blessing when I'm 48 and look 40. It would really come in handy when picking up women. Lets be honest though. If I'm single at 48, I fucked up big time.

I suppose that may actually be one my fears (I don't really have many: big spiders, sharks... you know what? I'll just do a separate blog on that subject). That my particular brand of crazy (we're all a little crazy) doesn't have a counterpart. Or that I'll somehow alienate whomever gets close to me because, objectively speaking, I can be annoying as hell to be around.

I think I need to go hiking again.

"Mathematics" - Mos Def

Is That True, Zach? Does Your Shit Run Deep?

I just caught the ending to 500 Days of Summer and it has me wondering, what should you do when you find yourself missing someone, whom may miss you too, but not as much as you do them?

This is a legitimate question.  A good question.

I think there comes a point when you have to find out just how much they actually miss you.  A time to see if what you thought was your 'constant' was really just a flutter.  Call it a test of character or mental fortitude.

"Fresh Feeling" - Eels

The Pause Button

It feels like someone has hit the pause button on my life.

I had really been enjoying my life the past couple of weeks.  I was having fun and looking forward to what the next several months of my life would hold.  It was as if my life was a jigsaw puzzle and I had just put together a lovely chunk of it.

Now I'm on Spring Break at my mom's place. 

I do not want to be here.  The only thing that I enjoy about being here is that I get to spend time with my pooch.

It's like someone took that part of the jigsaw puzzle and now I'm supposed to complete the rest of it without it for the time being.

I feel disconnected from my life.  My life isn't here.
The people I enjoy doing stuff with aren't here.

I love helping my mom, but she dumps everything on me since she has no one to talk to.  And I feel constantly worse because of this.

Now where's that damn remote so I can hit that play button.

"Uncharted" - Sara Bareilles

(I found this quote yesterday.  I kind of love it.)

"My heart only ever had one thought, one want. One need. Despite all, in spite of all...All my heart has ever wanted is you." - Stephanie Laurens